Why I walked away from data science
In the past two years, I tried really hard to change my career to data science and make myself more “technical”, but it didn’t work - it just wasn’t for me.
For some context, I don’t have any quant background. I graduated from business school and I’m not the type of book-smart person you’d expect from a typical Asian kid, but somehow, I had the delusion that I was. I strongly believed I could do it as long as I work hard.
Back when I was a Senior Analyst, there were two paths in front of me — either to follow the people manager track or stick with the specialist route as an individual contributor. I always thought I would be the latter because I have very little desire to manage people and absolutely hate starting my workday with back-to-back meetings. For me, the obvious option was to become a technical expert, and what else could be better than the field that everybody knows these days? That was an easy decision — or so I thought.
The truth is cruel. The thing is, even though I am a quick learner, there are always things I can’t easily understand. Learning programming languages like R was not a problem for me, but data science is not just coding, it’s more about statistical modelling and algorithms. Let’s face the fact：the last time I looked at math was 10 years ago when I was studying as an undergraduate in China. This meant I had to re-learn not only math concepts (I could barely remember calculus) but also all the terminologies in a different language. It was so frustrating for me to go through the online courses and textbooks, finding myself completely lost in foundational concepts and feeling like a dumbass.
Why was I so obsessed with data science? Well, besides the obvious fact that it is a hot field nowadays, I guess the term “data scientist” itself attracted me a lot. When I was a kid, my dream was to become a scientist. Though I didn’t get the chance to study a STEM major, a data scientist is still a scientist, right? When my therapist used the IFS technique to reveal this little secret, I suddenly realized the root cause: I was trying to become someone else — the kind of book-smart person my parents expected me to be. In reality, I quickly lost my focus when studying statistics and almost fell asleep every time. In short, I thought I was interested in data science, but actually, I wasn’t. I was just chasing the imaginary version of myself shaped by my parents and society, and I believed it so much that I neglected what genuinely made me happy.
Beyond the intellectual challenge, the time commitment also made me pause. Was I really that determined? Was I willing to give up the moments I treasure — knitting, cuddling with my cats, and spending time with my husband — just for hours of math problems? The answer was clearly no. And honestly, I was fortunate that my bank job already offered so much — remote flexibility, decent pay, and a healthy work-life balance.
What’s the lesson I learned from the past two years? I was struggling finding “the right path” for my career, and I was so afraid of making the wrong choice. The truth is, there is no right path. We can never go back in time and choose again. No matter what choice I make, I must own it and not look back. Walking away from data science felt like giving up at first — a sign of weakness. But I’ve come to see it as an act of courage, a way of honouring my true self. Finding fulfillment isn’t about chasing trends or meeting others’ expectations. It’s about learning myself and embracing what makes me me. Sometimes, you have to take the wrong path to truly understand the right one.
